Before and Beyond……….

she can still hear the Drupad,
the laughter and the sounds that the night left behind.

she can still hear the ghunghroo,
the lights of the fort and the soft kiss.

her eyes tell her that he is looking at her,
the thought of that is like a thousand butterflies flying through the navel

she can still see the clouds,
with him walking by.

she can can still feel his warmth,
the tender lovemaking.

she can still remember the last line spoken,
the last of the heart beat,after she closed the door.

she waits for those footsteps to be heard again,
the ones that bring her hope from the past to a future that is unknown.

Is it worth it ?

So yesterday was a wholesome day…a day I realized what I should have realized few years ago..or maybe eons ago.Like the thought that always ran in my mind was that “when you are in love with someone for real you never judge them”.I live by that rule and until yesterday I thought most of the people I love lived by that rule too.

However i was wrong!!! and that hit me hard.Here is the guy who loved me for all his life and told me a hundred times that he is always there for me.Well it seems his being there has a lot of additions to it.Like one for example is the bit about judging. He tells me I like you,your are welcome to be with me. However,I will get suspicious of you, cause of the relationships you had in the past.Which translates to “if you get friendly with a man,I will think u are sleeping with him or doing something naughty”.

My heart broke,this is from a man who tells me that no one should judge people by the past.Wonder what is this all about.Is this a revenge tactic or is it just that words are easier said than actions?

I was there thinking for a bit ” shit I deserve this”.But then hey wait, I do not.I must have had my reasons to do what I did or behave the way I did.Just cause I did it once, you are no one to JUDGE me.

*point being every one in this world has reasons for what they do,some do not. Like they just do it for the heck of it. However, they are own individuals and they can live life in whichever way it pleases them.Don’t be a cynic,ask them why they did it.If you ask them they will tell you.When they tell you,you will know,that it is best to know first hand than to imagine and accuse……….

Child Woman!!!!!!!

they come and they go,
they flatter me away.
they ask me no questions,
they give me no words.
who can they be!
they come in every thoughts.

* me wrote this as a child of 7,it makes up for 29 too 🙂

time and space

isn’t it too late now? isn’t it time it arrives? isn’t it supposed to be here? is it ok to think this way? i have a feeling it is alright..however where is it?????/

Life and stories around them…..

What is it with movies and life.Sometimes they end up so similar that you are “hey wait that is the solution” or “hey wait that is my life” or wait that is a true story and people did that so why not me…..

Today I went to watch 21,it was amazing what the mind can do and of course a true story.A bunch of MIT guys and gals with brain and attitude make millions on black jack.Well they banned from LA,but,hey they did make money before they got banned.I can do that but I need a team to do that.Anyone listening?

Or the Movie Fairy tale,about 2 innocent girls who believe that they have seen fairies and captured them in their clicks.this is then researched by skeptic Harry Houdini and legendary dreamer Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.The fairies bit was not true at the end.But hey they made realize that innocence and truthfulness is not lost.

Came out of the theater thinking all u need it guts and loads of belief in you.That i have.

I believe in myself more than anyone.