Iyer Wedding

A Week more for the Wedding aka Kalyanam.I wanted to know about all the scared rituals that take place on the D-Day.This is the first Tamil Iyer wedding for my Telugu Brahmin side,hence the adventure is less discovered.I spoke to my MIL and found out the meaning of few rituals.Here are few or more or less the ones that we follow.

Tamil Iyer Wedding

Wedding in earlier days used ot go on for 5 to 10 days,thankfully the process right now is compacted into 2 days.The Groom wears something called a Vesthi and a Kurta or a silk shirt.The Bride wear the traditional Madisaar also known as the nine yard saree.

Vrutham – The wedding starts with this,we offer prayers to our ancestors and God early in the morning and seek their blessings for the ceremonies ahead.

Maapillai Azhaippu – Music,Nadaswaram and Dancing are and integral part of the ceremony.The Brides family welcomes the Groom and his family into the wedding Mandapam ( for us it is a wee diff,as V is from Coimbatore,we will get the welcome).This Ritual used to take place earlier to let the village know who exactly the Groom and Bride are.

– Engagement Ceremony,Mantras are chanted by the Hindu Priest,They read out the detals Of the Bride and the Groom,such as Fathers and Grandfathers name,the Village that their Forefather belonged to,their family Gothra.Then they read out the wedding Muhurtham’s Date and time.Once everyone is ok and agrees to the wedding the Thamboolam is exchanged along with the rings and the bride and the groom are officially engaged.

Muhurtham (Main wedding) – It is the on the 2nd day,the time is typically between 7 am to 9.30 am or can go up to 11 am.

Kaasi Yatra – An age old ceremony where the Groom decides to take sanyasam (monk hood) for his spiritual journey.He is convinced by the Bride’s brother and father to give up sanyasam and take up “grahastham”(family life).The Brides brother will take away the umbrella,the wooden slippers and the kamandalam or the jug with water from his hand give him a set of new clothes and leather footwear and take him to his sister,the bride.

This Ritual will complete when the groom’s side carrying the groom and the bride’s side carrying the bride on shoulders.Th bride and the groom exchange garlands and proceed to the Swing(Oonjal).The Womenfolk will perform rituals and sing songs to word away any evil eye,while swinging the oonjal.

This is proceeded to the Mandapam,where at teh end the Bride sits on her Father lap and Kanigadhnam takes place.Where the Bride’s father offers her hand to the groom.The Groom then ties the Mangalasutram around the brides neck and the elders shower their blessing to the auspicious muhurtham and the ceremony.

Nalangu – This used to take place in olden days as the groom and the bride were young and mostly in teenage and is conducted for entertainment.It is a very integral part of the wedding.

Gruhapravesham – This ceremony is the next day when the Bride is welcomed into the Grooms home.She will lit the Traditional Lamp and become a part of the Grooms Family.

I am looking Forward to enjoy all of the above ceremonies to my Hearts content and Live with the Craze V and the Crazier and Loving Families.

Onjal Seva –

Money,money,money, is not so FUNNY!

* Pic Courtsey Google

It takes a lot to be firm and say to yourself that you will lead a life that is free from the bonds of MONEY.If you listened to my mother and taken her advice,you would be a millionaire by now i.e,if you started saving by 23 and now 30 year old millionaire would have been me.As always i did not take her advice and clearly in no position to advice on MONEY matter.However,it is true that as you grow old,you do become wiser and clear and smart in terms of life,which includes money and economy.

Here are a few points for myself,as I start a new life as a wife soon and also to who ever reads it no matter what age you are at.Life becomes simple to live.Agree that money plays an important part in all our lives.It is not just a necessity,but a major need.This is what I intend to do over the next 2 years.

1.Kill the debt – no matter how much you want to save,it will all go nowhere if you have a debt.So first calculate who much you owe or how much you spend on your debts.We all love that big fat bag or the i love the sofa set in home town.However i am going to wait till i clear my debts to buy any new furniture in the house or even buy a new perfume.If your debt is for a bank loan(home,car,personal) and it is for 1 or 2 years,please forgo the dream sofa.There will be better sofas in market soon and you will love them more than the present one.

Mantra – I will not buy anything that I not necessary till I clear all my debts.

2.Save at least 1000 per month – You have a Bank account where the salary goes right?Now take 1000 out on the 2nd of every month.Put in in another bank,like a recurring deposit.That way in a year you will have enough money.

This is how it works – if you deposit Rs.1000 at the rate of 7% interest for 24 months,you will get back an amount of Rs.25,681.So you have invested.

I believe that recurring is a way for you to just close your eyes and let the bank take the money.At the end of 2 years you will have some saving and you can buy yourself what ever you want or put it bank in the bank.

Mantra – I will save Rs.1000 per month for the next 2 years or more if I can(even if it less then 1000,save,save, save)

3.Cut the Card – If you know how to use a CC then use it otherwise just cut it,Why do you want to pay someone else for the things that you have purchased.(Listen to yourself laugh now).But,trust me and just cut the card.Or make sure you never swipe for more than Rs.1000 per month and make sure you pay that back at the beginning of the month.

Mantra – I will not use the card.period.

4.Expense Sheet – As a kid I used to watch my mothers friend write down every expense at the end of the day.I thought she was a miser,It is just recently, that I realised ,she is in a much better position that anyone and never been a miser.She was the first to buy me the best gifts and chocolates and also fancy her every whim and need.So start a budget sheet and write down what you spend every day.DO IT NOW.

5.It is very easy to read all this and say “YAY I Am GOING TO SAVE”.However,make sure you do it at least for 6 months.See if it worked for you.Money is not everything.but when did it hurt to save for a rainy day or even to give yourself that gift or to see a smile when you take you family out for a vacation.please save every month and trust me you will be at peace.


One Family to Another

I am sitting in our hall writing this blog post and V is playing what he calls soothing Music!(Progressive house).That too him is smoothing and living with him for 6 months i am kinda getting used to the idea of listening to this.

We share the space with a newly bought Lamp(red color),a couch and a diwan.I love the feeling of home.When I used to visit my friends house over weekends( this was long before I met V),I was tempted to ask her to find me a guy who was opposite to me and lived with me and my ranting.She could not find me a guy,However she did find me a room in her house that was called mine.

The reason for this blog is vary personal,I grew up in a neighborhood,which is crowded with my joint family.not that I mind it.However,sometimes when all you want is to just stare at space and just listen to classic rock. That in my case was very hard.If i was singing aloud my pinni or atha would walk in and ask me if i was loosing it.See for them sitting alone was never done.Even when i am in the loo,i get asked random things like “D,where is that yellow plate or that green dabba filled with bindis”.

So I yearned for that personal or private space all my life.Then I moved to other city and i loved the initial days of no one to bother me around.sitting Lazy on a Sunday afternoon,sipping beer and listening to music and reading a book. I did enjoy the phase of no one asking me what I was doing or what I was thinking.However i did miss the chitter chatter of my pinnis,random advice by my mamaya’s and also my sweet ammama’s pulihora.So I got back o a city close by and started travelling home on weekends.

Now that I am back here for good,I am also going to be a part of another Family soon.i am getting Married in 15 days from today.i will miss the Tanikella and Chilukuri clan and their nuisances.However the god part is that Chandramouli clan is much louder and mixing them my clan is going to be a Party for Life and yes a few adjustment here and there never bothered anyone.

Freedom,It is a sweet and sour recipe for life!

*photo courtesy – google

When the time is right and the right place is chosen,I somehow end up in another place and at the wrong time.I wondered if it could be a case of absent mind or even a case of time travel.Then it hit me, I never want to be in the right time at the right place.I want to be at any place i want at any time of the day or night.

That is how it has been for a few years now,millions of opportunities came into the door.they knocked and said “deepthi,it is time for you to join us and be happy and successful”.I said “yes,yes i am eager to please you”.did manage to please them for a bit,then thought “what the f**k I am i doing here”,ran for life.Happy that I ran away from the bonds of “I want your ideas,however I want them to be matched with mine”.

In the office when i used to work in corporate land,projects were taken and then my manager would walk up to me and say “here is the project,these are the rules,these are the statistic”.”what you have to do is work as free as you can,however do not cross the line”. err,sorry,then what does “free” mean?.Is it not something that you can do on your own without rules and regulations?.

Then I ventured into films,my first film was great.The director went through the same emotions as I did and said “you guys,listen to me,do whatever yo feel like,want to change the script do it”.but,make sure we all agree and have fun.It worked,the team was constantly motivated,new ideas were absorbed and if they were not then no problem,cause other ideas were as fresh as mine.

My second film was lie working in a slave driven rut.No one questioned the authority or the first AD.She was there to do whatever she felt and we all knew that she was messing up.However,we did try and make our point,but those were never taken to the director and I realised that I was the only one who was having a problem with this attitude.The rest seem to go with the flow.that is when i realised that it is dam tough to find like minded people to work with.

That is when I wrote a play,directed it and voila,everything fell in place.From the actors to the sponsors to the stage.See,my theory worked,like minded bring in a great rapport and you never feel like you working alone.

Then I said yes to another movie,now here me and the person who the idea belonged to got along like house on fire.At the end,however he had to get his people who started to add their 2 cents to the story and messed it up.I knew that the director was in favor to the friend and could not mess it up for them.So,I slowly moved aside and hope they understood and let the friend take the credit.

I know that it is tough and a torrid job to do what you want.But,it makes you happy and content and that smile that you smile for yourself is just amazing.I want to be that person.you might want to call me selfish,self absorbed and all that jazz.I am happy that i am myself and I know that those people like me are somewhere around to make a movie that breaks all barriers and frontiers and makes you laugh till your tummy tickles.