When the time is right and the right place is chosen,I somehow end up in another place and at the wrong time.I wondered if it could be a case of absent mind or even a case of time travel.Then it hit me, I never want to be in the right time at the right place.I want to be at any place i want at any time of the day or night.
That is how it has been for a few years now,millions of opportunities came into the door.they knocked and said “deepthi,it is time for you to join us and be happy and successful”.I said “yes,yes i am eager to please you”.did manage to please them for a bit,then thought “what the f**k I am i doing here”,ran for life.Happy that I ran away from the bonds of “I want your ideas,however I want them to be matched with mine”.
In the office when i used to work in corporate land,projects were taken and then my manager would walk up to me and say “here is the project,these are the rules,these are the statistic”.”what you have to do is work as free as you can,however do not cross the line”. err,sorry,then what does “free” mean?.Is it not something that you can do on your own without rules and regulations?.
Then I ventured into films,my first film was great.The director went through the same emotions as I did and said “you guys,listen to me,do whatever yo feel like,want to change the script do it”.but,make sure we all agree and have fun.It worked,the team was constantly motivated,new ideas were absorbed and if they were not then no problem,cause other ideas were as fresh as mine.
My second film was lie working in a slave driven rut.No one questioned the authority or the first AD.She was there to do whatever she felt and we all knew that she was messing up.However,we did try and make our point,but those were never taken to the director and I realised that I was the only one who was having a problem with this attitude.The rest seem to go with the flow.that is when i realised that it is dam tough to find like minded people to work with.
That is when I wrote a play,directed it and voila,everything fell in place.From the actors to the sponsors to the stage.See,my theory worked,like minded bring in a great rapport and you never feel like you working alone.
Then I said yes to another movie,now here me and the person who the idea belonged to got along like house on fire.At the end,however he had to get his people who started to add their 2 cents to the story and messed it up.I knew that the director was in favor to the friend and could not mess it up for them.So,I slowly moved aside and hope they understood and let the friend take the credit.
I know that it is tough and a torrid job to do what you want.But,it makes you happy and content and that smile that you smile for yourself is just amazing.I want to be that person.you might want to call me selfish,self absorbed and all that jazz.I am happy that i am myself and I know that those people like me are somewhere around to make a movie that breaks all barriers and frontiers and makes you laugh till your tummy tickles.