woman and man and then man and woman

in 99.9% of south Indian households,at least the ones that i have seen,man has always been the one to relax.My family was an exception to that rule,we had a stay at home dad and mom was the bread earner and still there were times when that “i need to serve my man first” popped in.

If there was a function at home,the men in my family would serve the ladies or share the burden of work.inf act my mama’s are well known for their kitchen skills and make sure the ladies are well taken care of.but,that would change in their homes.

i am dropped into this world where men sit and do nothing.women are running around the kids and feeding them,playing with them,feeding them and playing with them.men,will be sitting in that living room and drinking scotch and discussing politics or how his company is more profitable then the others.

Is it the mind set that you grow up from childhood? I am not a feminist and nor someone who roots for my clan all the time.but,these things just piss me off.

I have seen women who work all day long,come home then again cook,clean,wash and serve dinner to the man,who comes as the same time as the woman,comes in takes of his shoes,washes himself up,wears a clean mundu,sits on the sofa and reads the paper.the woman mind you has no problem with it and why should i have a problem then?.I do,because,no one told this woman to relax for a long time.so,she is in that box and thinks that not serving him is against the law.

i know so many of them who do everything for the man,even if you are a stay at home mom,you deserve some rest.I am sure you would love to sit in that same sofa for one whole day and get used to being served and do nothing

the men please take time off and give your lady a chance to rest and see what difference it makes!

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Morning

I live in a community in the corner of Bangalore.The distance,the pollution,the crowd,the trees,the corner hot chips shop are all part of this city.But,what makes it more interesting are the people.

I call my group “mornings”,that time of the day which makes you emote perfectly,mornings are a bunch of woman who I met in this community.Until April last year,i almost hated living in Bangalore and used to taunt V everyday and get into depression.However one fine evening changed that all.

I took Aku to swimming classes and was sitting there in my sadness and feeling depressed.Then came a chirpy voice from the other said.She said”hello” and that changed my life forever in the city 🙂

Then after few months I heard more of these “hello” and they changed from formal to hugs at large.Smiles that lit up my day and evening.Mornings are concerned about every aspect of my life and vice verse.

Movies,vegetable santha(market)books,kids,husbands,family matters,finance,there is no talk that is random in this mornings.Every thing is important and every one is as individual as they can get.

We go to the park in the evening,just to see each other and rant or vent,there is no biased opinion nor there are judges.mornings are women who value each word,morning are women whom i come to call my Purva family.

My little one was not well and everyone was sad,someone had a party and everyone was happy.there is no bitching,there is no gossip,there is talk and that about life.I love mornings and they love me.

P.S – mornings will be written more often and this is my post to say HELLO MORNINGs

my man

I remember the first time he held my hand,
remember the first time he kissed me.
it felt so real and that feeling was there for another day.

He was and is there with me today and for tomorrow and yes, yesterday,
I melt in his arms and that smile could kill me day after day.

My mind is at peace and every breath i take is like a song at night,
thinking he is around is all that takes for me to rest.

He is my husband,my soul mate,my guy,
the father of my kids and the friend in need.

He is there and that is why my parents never miss a beat,
he is there and that is why they keep going.

His mother,his father,his sister say he is for keeps,
one man in all those roles is what my man is.

Food and Memories

Have you ever closed your eyes and got that aroma of garlic or tamarind pulp that you used to get in that childhood kitchen of yours.Or that taste of certain samosa or chutney that still lingers on your palate.

I still remember that curry we ate on the Pune highway,the rich curry,mixed with hot rice and those tiny potatoes.Oh my mouth waters and i am just taken back to that night,in the dhaba and eating that delicious food.

I was talking to my chamak challo’s today and was telling them how it feels to go back to that grandmothers land. My bamma(fathers mother),has this thing for tomatoes,anything she makes has to have tomatoes in it…cabbage with tomato, potato with tomato,cauliflower with tomato,tomato with tomato.My mother does not like it a bit,she says “tomato is tomato,why mix it with other veggies and loose it’s great flavor”?.however my father got that or rather inherited that flavor and guess what happens at home :).Now,if you excuse me,i have to make fenu greek and tomato:P.

It is crazy how even our kitchen sometimes resembles our grand mothers or mothers.think of it,don’t you wash your milk packet before you cut open the cover? does not your salt always stay in tupper ware and has a small steel spoon in it? don’t you always make dal with the tadka like your mom did? i do almost everything like her…amma you are virtually ruling my kitchen 😀

Then again there is the famous podi’s or powders that are made in the kitchen.yesterday I made curry leaf podi and I so wanted it to smell and taste like amma’s.the whole experience took me back to my childhood and i had to immediately mix it with hot rice,ghee and eat it…slurp….

I so wish my elder one takes up cooking.he loves it and I am waiting to see that gleam in his eyes and that joy he gets when he licks the hell out of that tomato curry!