maid in bannerghatta

I changed four maids in the past 20 months. two left on their own will,one got married and the other was not happy with me.

These women have been at home living full time and were a part of my family.What irks me and kills me is out of these four,two of them thought that were doing me a favor.

now,how do you treat a live in maid?(don’t tell me that i am not allowed to address them like that)

V and I treat them like family,there was no difference not one at home bothered in which plate they ate or where they slept or what they did or how they sat or what they drank.We supported their families,gave money when needed.took care of their health and much more.Now,is it not a right way to treat these women? because there are few common things that they did and that made me think “maybe we are not allowed to be good to them,maybe we should treat them like they just work for us and keep them at an arms or 100 miles distance.”

The maid who quit about yesterday said “you always yell at me when i talk on the phone” i did as she has severe headache and the doctor said she needs to cut down the phone time.she said “you did not allow me to eat food one day” i agree as she was on medication and there was no way i was letting her shove down greasy food.I gave her everything that i would give a young girl in my house. the other day,we went to a friends house and she was sitting on the sofa,just like any other guest and waiting for my friend to serve her.So,i said “it might be ok in our house,but don’t do that in others house as they might not like it”.she said my friend asked her to sit on the sofa and i was glad that she did.But,this girl went on and on about how we rich people(what and how did she think i was rich!!!!!!!) do not treat them well,how we ignore them. (more about the rich,middle,poor gap in the net post)

but,like my friend once mentioned “these people never learn,all they see is not you.But the big house,the good clothes and good food and think,bloody rich people,we are poor because of them and they need to suffer” no matter how much you give them it is not enough.the pay that we give them is not at all cheap and we need to provide,food,clothing,soap,shampoo,brush and much more.Do the  places we work at give us all this? do we tell our boss “you did not let me talk on the phone,so screw you” and walk off.

I felt cheated yesterday,like when your child looks at you and says “fish off mother,i never asked you to do all this for me,why did you do it”.I learnt my lesson after this and never ever shall i treat them like the way i do from now on it will be the old way”you work,you get paid and that is all that you get”

4 thoughts on “maid in bannerghatta

  1. Ambia says:

    Hey Deepthi…Very interesting…Guess the maid scene is the same no matter where u are…In Dubai I have no choice but to have a full time maid… Employing one for a couple of hrs is illegal unless from a cleaning company and they charge a bomb…
    I am on my 3rd Nepali maid… And I just cannot understand whether having a clean house is good or having ur peace of mind… Guess there is no solution to it…
    From my experience and my friends experience is that they do not understand that we are being nice to them and they take it as ” Time to take them for a ride”
    What works for me is total indifference and zero expectations..
    . I do not involve myself in their personal life.. Do not take them to my friends place ( maids of friends and my maid does not make a good combo) Don’t like the idea of the maids gossiping about each others household.
    The problem with Nepalis is their IQ runs on negative and that is frustrating because they simply do not understand instructions… Because of which I start raising my voice and that ends up with a lot of negative energy in the house..

    There are 2 ways about it… U can’t be with them nor can u be without them 🙂

    • deethi says:

      ambika – I figures this,i keep my mouth shut when they are around.tell them what to do on day one,and keep reminding them that they have to work and not bull shitting.In fact i now have a top maid,i don’t even acknowledge her presence.the only time i do is when she is leaving.
      they got me to be someone i am not and peace of mind i am getting a lot 🙂

      I learnt it the hard way and then again,who knows some sensible woman might walk in one day and change my thinking!

  2. Chindi Chitranna says:

    Interesting post. I have maid problems too. Because I’m younger than most other employers, they assume I know nothing and can boss me around. Trying to be ‘strict’ and establish boundaries is difficult. I feel rude sometimes. But at others, I feel there’s no alternative to speaking sternly and even raising my voice once in a while because:

    1. My maids never take me seriously when I speak to them politely, even if I do it a hundred times. Obviously I’ll lose it the 101st time no?

    2. They are older and they deserve to be called the plural you (aap). That, however, does not mean that everything they say is right. It is MY house and things will be done the way I want them to be. The fact that I address them as ‘aap’ does not mean they can get all pally with me and use it as an excuse to shirk, get me to do some of their jobs (!) or anything else. Sometimes I think there has to be a distance and how do you achieve it when you behave with them like you would with any other human being? My maids have been the kind to take a foot if I gave them an inch. That’s made me a little cynical. I want to have an employer-employee relationship, not a new BFF for heaven’s sake!

    3. I hate the whole rich and poor thing. They see we have a nice house, but don’t see how much of a loan we’re paying, or how much we have to scrimp and save to get there. They see us having gadgets but don’t see us working till late in the night to be able to afford them.

    I’m trying so hard to strike a balance – being human, yet command some respect & obedience but I always fail miserably.

    • deethi says:

      chindi (love that name) – you got be strict and keep them at a distance.If you tell them to do something,tell them that they need to do that and why address them with aap,just call them with the name(just like you do in corporate today!) and tell them on day one what they need to do and i learnt that this “never make them feel,like we will not survive without them” that is what makes them like this.

      about the rich,poor,no one can change that.i told my maid this” remember,the reason you are not where i am today,is cause of your attitude and when that comes by,you will be in the same place as me”

      just be command and never let the human side peep through!

      it reads sad,but that is the fact girl!

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