Anger is something that I have been dealing with all my life. I get angry and it goes on for days together or I forget what I was angry at the next minute. There are so many of us who give advice to each other and say “keep calm,let bygones,be bygones”. how many of us practice this thought?
I have seen that anger tends to pull me down,give me headache and then make me talk and think bad about the other person and then i am back to normal. But for few years now I have put something in practice and my mind now looks for these signs and automatically triggers a reaction that tells me ” go away for a walk or got to room and cry or scream loud” and once i do that i am good to go and the anger,is subsided.
My elder son,has a lot of anger stored in him. I did not see this coming till he was 7,he is 9 now and i worry everyday thinking this will effect him. There was nothing i was doing from my side to curb it. When he got angry, i used to yell at him and ask him to go to his room. that triggered more anger in him and boy that was even worse. Now we have a practice,when he gets angry, i told him to tell them person next to him and talk non- stop tp himself on why he is angry and then once he realizes the key,me and him will talk and deal with it. the other day, he was teased in school and he got angry and i was surprised when i got to know, that he actually told his friend ” i am angry,please do not talk to me now” and then after while he was calm and the happy boy again. So,if this works for a 9 year old then it must work a little for you and me to right?!
It sounds easy to write,but, i know it is difficult when the situation comes. Try it and it might work at the 20th time. Also communication is the key everywhere and if you do not tell the person why you are angry and just act, you might be just another mad cow in the crowd.