sexual abuse or past life Karma?

I was talking to a friend today about an article on sexual abuse.It was mentioned in TOI and the author said that,sexual abused children’s are karmic helpers to the ones who abuse them.It is also mentions that the ones who are abused sexually are the ones who were the predators in the previous birth.

Now, my friend said that she really did not think it would be easy for someone to forgive her/his abuser and rarely ones goes in that maturity level to forget and forgive them.Another friend went through a lot of internal conflict when her abuser called to say how sorry he was and apologized profusely to what he did to her.

My question to the author, will the innocence that was lost in childhood come back after the apology? How many of us have the strength in us to forgive what happened and move forward?why should children suffer something they rarely know about at such a young age and that to for a past karma.Isn’t it said that dharma and adharma are taken care in this life and hell and heaven are both done here before you leave the body?

I once mentioned to a friend about how another refuses to hug people,because she/he was an abused child.I was like “get over it man,move on”.But,i realized my mistake quite early and made sure that i never judge a person and let them take their own time healing.I for once never got over it and i don’t think i will.Yes,the memory is distant and far away.but,it reeks of that pungent smell every time I see,hear and read about an abused child.

Now,will you tell me to take it all in stride as this is what my karma is?Suffer for something that I did not even have an idea about? suffer because i am a mere child with no where to run and scared and actually having no clue about what was happening to me?

another time another friend was telling me on how boys get mentally blocked because of this and how it effects their relationship with their girlfriends,wives and women they love.

Tell a child to go to a counseling session,take time and understand their fears and tell them how to be with family and friends and strangers.Teach them many things that they need to know about these abusers.But for once never tell a child that you went through it because you were bad in your past life.It is not a valid reason.At least not for one who is as harmless as a child.

Enough Already

You live in a house,call it home and settle down.You decorate it,fill it with love,hope and joy.It is a place that is for you and your family and friends.But,what will you do when someone walks in,breaks your home and says “this is not your home,it is mine”.I will probably kill that person or break their bones one by one at a time.

This is what is happening to Andhra Pradesh,my state,our state.Home to millions of Teluguiets,Malyalees,Tamilians,Gujratis,Bengalis and many more.It has been more than 2 years and the unrest in the state is not coming down.

Schools have been effected,education is become a mere passe.Students do not know when they have to go to institutes.Even if they go,they are not sure if it is safe.They are not sure if they are from telangana or andhra or from a state that has been united for so long.

Workers are been forced to stay away from work.If they go against the agitators and work,they are called cheaters,anti telangana,anti andhra.My mother was verbally abused for going to work by them.What they did not know was, she is from Nalgonda,the main telangana region and she has to go to work to survive.A person who was throwing/pelting stones at the ladies who were walking out of the office or being forced to said this to my mother “are you not ashamed to work? why are not part of the agitation?” and my mother said “will you pay for my house,food and clothing and what is this anti thing? who are you to tell me what to do and where to live?”

I think her point is valid.A cousin of mine came home the other day and said “i hate the andhra students in my class,they are so down”.I was so surprised.While I was in college there was no such divide.It was either R.T.C colony or sainikpuri or vanastalipuram divide! It was never about our state.

I am a common woman,who wants things to be restored in A.P.There might be truth in what you are fighting for or there might not be any truth at all.But,who are you to make the common man suffer?Will you give the students their lost valid hours at school back?Do you know how important education is?what is the point of pointing fingers towards another country and calling them enemy.When you are pointing fingers at your own people and making them your sworn enemy “making them” I said.

I am pissed off,angry and hurt that this is happening in a state that was called one of the best states to live in a decade ago.It is the I.T hub and has the prestigious I.B.S or the BITS.Now,it is even scary to think of going there.My cousin has been planning to celebrate her daughters first birthday at Hyderabad this month.She has pre poned her trip and is having a small gathering at home rather than the earlier plan of going to an ashram.Thanks agitators for making us feel this way.

and if someone asks or tells me,this is what we have to do,we have to sacrifice enough to get something for our brothers and sisters.Please don’t sacrifice already.Potti Sriramulu did that once and that is how we have a state that we call “ANDHRA PRADESH”.

Don’t KILL yourself

Second page of TOI bangalore “IIM – B girl commits suicide” this is after her boyfriend dumped her and changed updated his status message to “feeling super cool today,dumped my new ex-girl friend.happy independence day”.

A website said that estimated 100000 commit suicide in India every year and it contributes to 10% among the world numbers.It is a sad and terrible way to end life,killing oneself.I was talking to S on the phone and she was saying that when most of us hear something like that we say “what a dumb girl” or “who gave her the right to kill herself” and so on.I think it is valid,Agree most of us say this and think “why did that girl end her life this way?”.

I was disturbed by the news,because it was an end to a beautiful life.Is there a way of prevention? Yes there are a number of websites and help lines available today.They have counseling sessions not only for the person who wants to.But,also for the parents,family and friends around.They help you deal with it and not make you adjust with life.Rather they make you accept life with a new look and a positive go ahead.

Many of the young ones today or even the older generation are facing pressure in ever aspect of life.
>good marks
>great job
>study pressure
>love failure
>parents pressure
>spouse pressure
>failure in life

The above are few such points that i think where people end up killing themselves.These things can be resolved with proper understanding and care.If you know someone like this and cannot help then in your own way.Look for professional help and take them there.Trust me you will thank yourself for making and taking this decision.

My mother always says that no child is born dumb or smart or intelligent.She says that all of us are born with the same brain that helps us survive in this world.So,it is up to the parents and the society to nurture that brain and turn in into a “beautiful mind”.If you heart is broken it too can be mended,it may not be the same ever.But,with proper guidance it will turn that hurt into a lesson learnt for good!

My silent prayer for

Malini Murmu
23 years

Screwed up?

I wanted to talk to a friend today,tried her number and that was off.I then called my amma and spoke to her for a bit and felt better.Now here is the deal, I am pretty pissed off with this friend.I am in the same city that she is visiting and 2 days and no calls nothing.I did not even know that she was here.But,thanks to FB i am updated.

Sometimes and just many times V says I overreact and except a lot.but,then I say when you give the same,you expect the same.Some say don’t except and I say hell, I do.That is how I am made and I am not willing to change few things in me.Like how to change? say “oh i do matter to them”?.Once I got to know the same friend had a major fight with her hubby and called this other common friend.I got to know,cause the common friend slipped tongue and then i asked lets say X,why she did not tell me about the fight?.Then immediately X called the common friend while i was there and i think asked her not to tell me much.Well that hurt as I consider this one X as few of my good friends.

X is also good friend with this one friend Y who thought I had ego and was jealous and said it straight to me and also used to walk out every time was in a party or a common ground.I spoke to this one patiently and told her that she has a problem and to deal with it.X at that time told me that Y was stupid to say that and btw I was the one who introduced X to Y.Now after what Y said about me,X id great friends with Y and i just cannot fathom on how X invites both of us to the same do.I am sorry i cannot ignore and it just does not get comfortable.Over the month I realized that Y is a good friend and we back as friends but not the same as we were ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
Now i think it is high time i give up all these relations and just stay “chill” as my mind and body is.There you go my frustration is out ๐Ÿ™‚

That Sunday,This Sunday!

There were times on a Sunday, all I would do is sleep,get up,get brunch,go for a movie or chill at home with movies and then go for a party at night.

These are Sundays where I get up feed the baby,massage him,give him a bath,give aku a bath,feed him something,get some coffee and do the duties.get out for another shout for milk,serve lunch (thankfully i have a cook).dust the home,wash clothes and wait for another load to be washed,dry them and make tea and then do some other work.

Being a home maker is not easy and on top of it if you have no help then you go crazy.V helps me with the baby and does things when i do ask him to do.What I would really really like??? yeh some kind of…forgetting that know when V knows what to do when and does not need to me to tell him what to do.That is what I want.

I was supposed to get help from in-laws, some maid,but that backed out ( i know somehow that it was someone who asked that maid to stay put where she was).In-laws is another thing and I will write about those stories later.

For now,I got time to update my blog and vent my freaking frustration out.Also a friend was supposed to update me on life and they just forgot I exist…yeh,I am having a hellish weekend ๐Ÿ™‚ with a nice movie that kept me lol in the early hours called GOA…watch it a neat,kickass Tamil movie….

What gets my B.P high

1.People from the Credit card companies.
2.People who think they know it all.
3.People who keep boasting about themselves
4.Unwanted crap on T.V.
5.My son crying for no reason
6.When my hubby says there has to be logic to everything and argues with me even when all i want him is to just listen to me and treat me like an ignorant!
7.People who are friends first and then turn into foes and never tell you why.
8.When parents give you the look (even when you are 31)
9.When In Laws treat you like you dont exist.
10.When the servant stays off work and gives you random excuse and expects you to pay for the whole month.
11.When you extended family interferes in every thing you do and want you to do it their way.
12.When friends get close to people who have back bitten you and think it is OK not to be discussed
13.When you sit for a story discussion with director,producer and their entire clan (the clan wants the hero to be super man and bat man together with lungi as outfit).
14.When a neighbor locks his kid in the bathroom to teach him a lesson and when you hear the kid cry and beg for mercy ( i hope that the kid does the same to his father)
15.When what comes in form of salary is more when it goes out as expense!
16.When people ask me to calm down and talk to me like i am a 1-year-old.

Many more but these are what I know tick me off like this!


How freaking insensitive can people get.
A Minor girl was raped, this was at her tuition.
Minor kids blood is being sold in black market.
A housemaid was raped by an actor and he quotes” lust is bigger than an actor”,
A girls hand is dipped in hot oil,the reason ” I wanted to test if she was telling the truth,if she was, her hand would not have burned”.that is what the accused said.Oh by the way he is on the run.

I am sure we all know that this is half a percent of what is happening around the world today.Is it sheer disgust to belong to human race anymore?. I thought we are people who feel and all that jazz.

I cannot seem to push this thought away for a while now. No matter what I do,these senseless,ruthless, idiotic,brutes are coming back to my mind. I wish we had to power to burn them by pouring tiny drops of acid and leave them till they suffer and scream. i would love to scream and tell them then, that this is how exactly the little ones must have felt.

Please for Kids sake,leave them alone. Let them grow up and let them enjoy the life they have. Who the fuck gave you the right to interfere in their life? Do you even know that they lived happily before without your bloody presence. The maid had no clue that you were around watching her every move. the little one at the tuitions had no idea that you were lusting for her body than her mind full of life ahead. that baby did not know that the prick was not an injection but a uncouth vampire,who wants to draw every tiny drop f blood.

Stay away from kids,stay away from humans period.In fact stay away from animals,plants all living things. Do not bother us anymore, we care and we do not care for fools like you. you are a disease which is spreading rampant,please people take a vaccination and try not to let these demons enter you soul.

Please spread the word.Take the Vaccination called HUMANITY. KILL THE HATE,SPREAD THE LOVE,RESPECT and above all FREEDOM to live and let live.

Hands that hold the world?

if she or he whoever it is gave us life, then don’t you think that person should give us the direction of life? sometimes you get so tired going the wrong way that when the right path comes, you tend to do this becasue you are done with taking these paths alone.

Personally I feel the guiding hand should be there with you and be visible instead of the invisible hand. you really have no clue where to hold the invisible as you cannot see it.

hands have been thre for me when i needed but only for their comfort.the day they came across the path for them,they just left mine.

So guide me and for god’s sake show me the visible one……….

Take a Flying F***

“oh life is like that…you got to move on and take in that little bit of bitterness”.

“What that hell was that supposed to mean? hello, I like life ,but was this life not supposed to be easy?.

Bitterness my A**. Get out of here , if anyone sez take it with a pinch of salt. I have done so many pinches of salt, feel i am in a sea filled with salt water….so anyone who is patronizing go take a flying F***