sexual abuse or past life Karma?

I was talking to a friend today about an article on sexual abuse.It was mentioned in TOI and the author said that,sexual abused children’s are karmic helpers to the ones who abuse them.It is also mentions that the ones who are abused sexually are the ones who were the predators in the previous birth.

Now, my friend said that she really did not think it would be easy for someone to forgive her/his abuser and rarely ones goes in that maturity level to forget and forgive them.Another friend went through a lot of internal conflict when her abuser called to say how sorry he was and apologized profusely to what he did to her.

My question to the author, will the innocence that was lost in childhood come back after the apology? How many of us have the strength in us to forgive what happened and move forward?why should children suffer something they rarely know about at such a young age and that to for a past karma.Isn’t it said that dharma and adharma are taken care in this life and hell and heaven are both done here before you leave the body?

I once mentioned to a friend about how another refuses to hug people,because she/he was an abused child.I was like “get over it man,move on”.But,i realized my mistake quite early and made sure that i never judge a person and let them take their own time healing.I for once never got over it and i don’t think i will.Yes,the memory is distant and far away.but,it reeks of that pungent smell every time I see,hear and read about an abused child.

Now,will you tell me to take it all in stride as this is what my karma is?Suffer for something that I did not even have an idea about? suffer because i am a mere child with no where to run and scared and actually having no clue about what was happening to me?

another time another friend was telling me on how boys get mentally blocked because of this and how it effects their relationship with their girlfriends,wives and women they love.

Tell a child to go to a counseling session,take time and understand their fears and tell them how to be with family and friends and strangers.Teach them many things that they need to know about these abusers.But for once never tell a child that you went through it because you were bad in your past life.It is not a valid reason.At least not for one who is as harmless as a child.

i have regrets.

I am in a very dull,depressed and “I dont care what you think” mood.So,Should I try and lighten it up a little and feel the blues with some nice jazz music?

Well,lets me talk to myself about this daunting question I have.Would I have asked God (if given a choice ) to end up somewhere else?Like in france in a rich up my A*&# life or in dharavi in a small home with no roof and just one blanket to share or no blanket and food for years together?

God what a wise cheeky person you are.There is no choice that you give to us.You make descions and then say “go figure”.There is this common question asked “do you have any regrets?”,well most of the ones I heard say “no,i don’t”.Me used to fall in that catogery for a long time.But,now,as I am in the 32 years of journey and in a life like rajdhani express,where you dont know when the AC would be on or of that days food will be good.I am sure and know that I have few regrets.Am i happy with the choices that I made…hmmmmm,not entirely.

I am happy for the madre,padre and husband and kids.Thank GOD,I had the choice here a littel bit.But,overall,if the person up there would give me a wand,I would definetly changed few things in the past like…

1.Bunking college way to often
lost out on many friends due to that

2.listening to madre or taking her advice in edcation
missed out on being an antrhopologits or a criminal lawyer

3.trusting few idoits who call themselves friends
missed out on the ones who really were

4.not saving enough for rainy day
still waiting to save for that car

so ,if i were given a choice to live my life again I would and make a path that leads to vinod and few others and then live happily ever after.

Don’t KILL yourself

Second page of TOI bangalore “IIM – B girl commits suicide” this is after her boyfriend dumped her and changed updated his status message to “feeling super cool today,dumped my new ex-girl friend.happy independence day”.

A website said that estimated 100000 commit suicide in India every year and it contributes to 10% among the world numbers.It is a sad and terrible way to end life,killing oneself.I was talking to S on the phone and she was saying that when most of us hear something like that we say “what a dumb girl” or “who gave her the right to kill herself” and so on.I think it is valid,Agree most of us say this and think “why did that girl end her life this way?”.

I was disturbed by the news,because it was an end to a beautiful life.Is there a way of prevention? Yes there are a number of websites and help lines available today.They have counseling sessions not only for the person who wants to.But,also for the parents,family and friends around.They help you deal with it and not make you adjust with life.Rather they make you accept life with a new look and a positive go ahead.

Many of the young ones today or even the older generation are facing pressure in ever aspect of life.
>good marks
>great job
>money
>fame
>study pressure
>love failure
>parents pressure
>spouse pressure
>failure in life

The above are few such points that i think where people end up killing themselves.These things can be resolved with proper understanding and care.If you know someone like this and cannot help then in your own way.Look for professional help and take them there.Trust me you will thank yourself for making and taking this decision.

My mother always says that no child is born dumb or smart or intelligent.She says that all of us are born with the same brain that helps us survive in this world.So,it is up to the parents and the society to nurture that brain and turn in into a “beautiful mind”.If you heart is broken it too can be mended,it may not be the same ever.But,with proper guidance it will turn that hurt into a lesson learnt for good!

My silent prayer for

Malini Murmu
23 years

Not my Problem

What is it with “it is a problem between husband a wife and we are not supposed to interfere”

The newspapers here have been reporting the tiff between and film star and his wife and a ban on the actress who supposedly caused the whole rift.So the Industry promptly bans the actress and then goes to the star and empathizes with him.Let me tell you that the star in question was someone who beat his wife,tore her clothes and threatened her at gun point.He also tried to throw his nine month old from a bridge or a building once and here we have people forgetting this and saying “it is a personal issue,so let them solve it”.Really?.The wife who is the victim went to withdraw the FIR and told the cops that she slipped and fell in the bathroom.Now,tell me if these are the stories in Film land,then there is no point of writers and drama.All you have to do is go to some house,sit with popcorn and enjoy the show and then if the star kills the wife in real life,say”it is their personal problem you see”.

Let me tell you it is not easy to get out of a physical relationship that easily and if you do get out,it takes ages to recover mentally.But,the point is get out.Many times the lawyer tells the husband and wife to compromise and get back to normal.So,it is ok that after 6 months of normalcy the person gets targeted and beaten again? and then come the elders of the family and also the ones who think they are doing their best in keeping the scarcity of marriage alive and making themselves the self made gyan gurus.

Is it ok for a man or a women to go through torture in a marriage? Isn’t the word marriage supposed to be a harmony between two people and not something that otherwise.How many have us heard stories about friends mothers beating beaten and fathers being taken to court for no fault of theirs?Yes,my point here is why does not one come to rescue in a domestic abuse problem? Why does everyone say that it is between wife and husband?What would happen to you when the same abuse starts at your house?

I saw a tamil move recently called Eeram.The husband kills the wife and then she comes back to take revenge.Now,she kills this lady,her neighbor.You know why? when she was alive the husband was doubting thomas and comes to this neighbor to check if his wife was sleeping with anyone or was any man coming to visit his wife.The lady in questions says yes and says that there is a man who comes to visit your wife everyday.Now,the husband goes back and promptly kills the wife.Tell me this, even if it was a man coming to visit her,could that man not be a father,brother or a friend and what business does this lady have to tell him in a very “i am pure,your wife is not”way about some harry? In fact she should tell him to stop doubting his wife or he would have to live life without balls.

Please pray the the future generation has the guts and the sense to get out of abusive relationship and the ones who are living in it should not call themselves victims.But,get out and call the psycho who was abusing them a victim of low self esteem!Please,if your a victim,ask for help from anyone and trust yourself to believe that you are the best and no one is superior to you.

Good Morning

Good Morning,

I have been up from 4 am in the morning and watching movies,feeding my 5 month old,making coffee for my hubby who just got back from work.I am not tired and I am in a very good mood(hope it remains till the end of today).

Been wanting to write a book for the past 6 years.Yes,6 years is a long time to think and a long time to gather material.you would have thought that I did.However,I have no even picked up a twig yet and have no clue where to start.All I know is I want to write books and not the ones that preach or tell you to get up and move on.I want to write something that is familiar and something that i have lived through.I tried one day to write a fantasy book,even picked up names like “namerain”(name of the lead character).however,after 2 paragraphs,I left the page and wandered into the kitchen to make pasta.

Why is there a need for me to write a book? why is there a need for me make a living out of writing?I don’t know the answer to that questions as yet.All I know is that I derive a sense of pleasure out of penning those words or more like typing those letters on the keyboard and listening to that sound of the letters being typed or looking at each and every letter form a word.

I thought writing can be done by starting to write articles on the web,you know the SEO or writing about a razer that is so important that you end up writing about all the things a razor could do!I took up umpteen assignments on the same and then realized that I HATE THEM.The guys who gave me those assignments called like 10 times asking me for the finished work and i had o make some excuse.Reason – I never did go beyond one para.I hated what it made me feel like.It felt like I was writing for someone else(which I was).

So, I gave up and did not write at all.In fact there was nothing to write about.I mean there is always something to write about.However, I did not have the patience to write.then again I read this someones thoughts on writing and it somehow made an impact on me.

You know how they say everything happens for a reason and the reason for me to stay up and read this was for a reason.I think it was to tell me,that you cannot be hard on you and you cannot expect yourself to write unless you know and believe in what you are writing( I used the word writing like a zillion times here).

There is always a point in life where you journey begins.There is always a reason to start something.Sometimes you know the reason and sometimes you do not.Don’t pause ans think and ask yourself.Just go with the flow and the reason will come and tell you “deethi,this is the reason why you are here”.I am no more going to wait for a moment or time to start writing.I will write when I feel happy,sad,gay, disappointed and many more moods.I will write when I want to be hear by myself and i will write for my happiness!

P.S – also when my 5 month old and my 7-year-old,tell me mama “we love you” and when my V tell me “i love you”

weight thrown around!

Been a long long long longgggggg Holiday and yes I think I did have good time diary :D.When i write in my blog,the picture that automatically comes to my mind is of a young me, scribbilling her way through the diary.Then safely locking it ( had one of those cute ones that you could lock) and then search the whole room for the lost key the next day.Here i forget my password and everyday I click on “lost password” link πŸ™‚

I think the 3 months effect of being a new mother is slowly wading off.Ask me how?” how deethi how?,Well I went to the tailor to get a salwar stitched and seriously I was not at all happy with the thing called tape and the thing called measurements I saw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.I was in tears when the Tailor looked my sad face and said “hota hai maadamjo hota hai” and I was like “kya hota hai” and he said “Size aur bada hota hai”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ayooooooooooo save me 😦

Then there is my hair, throughout pregnancy i fell in love with my curls.oh!how curly,noodles like they looked and now after 3 months,I will be surprised if they look even like wires that i hang my clothes one 😦

I don’t have a single tee that fits me and all i have is size s and xs and hoping that i will land in them soon i keep them safe.My mother looks at them and at me and says “hmm,i was like this after you and look where i am now”.she is put on more kgs people 😦

So i started playing badminton today and i was kinda puffft after few serves.but,hell goes to heaven or heaven goes to hell.I shall get back to at least the M size and at least i can tell my daughter-in-law “i was a figure then ma” πŸ˜› “even after the second one” πŸ˜€

That Sunday,This Sunday!

There were times on a Sunday, all I would do is sleep,get up,get brunch,go for a movie or chill at home with movies and then go for a party at night.

These are Sundays where I get up feed the baby,massage him,give him a bath,give aku a bath,feed him something,get some coffee and do the duties.get out for another shout for milk,serve lunch (thankfully i have a cook).dust the home,wash clothes and wait for another load to be washed,dry them and make tea and then do some other work.

Being a home maker is not easy and on top of it if you have no help then you go crazy.V helps me with the baby and does things when i do ask him to do.What I would really really like??? yeh some kind of…forgetting that word..you know when V knows what to do when and does not need to me to tell him what to do.That is what I want.

I was supposed to get help from in-laws, some maid,but that backed out ( i know somehow that it was someone who asked that maid to stay put where she was).In-laws is another thing and I will write about those stories later.

For now,I got time to update my blog and vent my freaking frustration out.Also a friend was supposed to update me on life and they just forgot I exist…yeh,I am having a hellish weekend πŸ™‚ with a nice movie that kept me lol in the early hours called GOA…watch it a neat,kickass Tamil movie….