There are times that I wonder, if the mindset of humans towards women has been like this right from the beginning? or was it just over the last 100 years or so?
Trust me there is a strong reason for me to say or think so. See, I live in a community and it is filled with women and men and children. However what I get to hear and see is mostly the lives of women who live in it. For me, as an individual the bias system seems so passe! See, there was never a time or place that I was made to feel like I was a burden or a robot who has to listen to people tell me how to dress? what to eat? how to sleep? what to read? and thanks to my upbringing I never thought that I was weak or some random gender.
But, I realized that the world i was living in is not the same as outside. So, there is a women who is asked to wear only a sari at her home and nothing else is good. She is someone who was never used to wearing one and now that is all she has to wear. It might seem too small a reason to melt and get all angry. But, what is the point in someone being asked to do what you want and not what they want to do? the only time she does wear one, is when her in laws are out of town or family is out on a town trip. Really, you might call it adjustment,i call it stupidity. I mean look at it, just because she wears a sari does not make her a true Indian bahu, nor wearing a salwar will turn her into a modern monster.
Also, men beating women and abusing them is so common, even in a society like mine. I heard a women cry the other day and wanted to jump in a kick the hell out of the man. however, the talk is that she is ok with it. the reason – he does that only when drunk. wtf is that? why would you want your body to go through pain and live a life with him. would you not rather get out, stand on your feet and make something better of yourself. I know that all of us look for support system and need someone to say that we are there for you. but, how long does one have to wait for someone else to help you? if you do not help yourself, then no one can.
the world that we live in is not a kind one, it is not safe either. however, that world is not something we choose personally, you and I were born into it. But the world that you and I create around us, is what keeps us sane and happy. So, am i thinking wrong or is it ok to face the shitty world where man can beat a women and a family can dictate what you wear and who you talk to?
there has to be a reason why it all goes wrong and sometimes the reason can be another person and not you. if you surround yourselves with a.holes then stop it now. for you are the most special person in this world and you need to be treated with respect.
I am promise to be there for you and for many like you and there are shelters who can help you stand on your own two feet. I am hoping this is read by those who need courage to take that step and leave the distressed world behind them. who ever you are, there is help, please look for it or ask for it,scream for it and it will come.
If you feel you need time, then take one step at a time and then take that giant leap towards a better tomorrow.