Food and Memories

Have you ever closed your eyes and got that aroma of garlic or tamarind pulp that you used to get in that childhood kitchen of yours.Or that taste of certain samosa or chutney that still lingers on your palate.

I still remember that curry we ate on the Pune highway,the rich curry,mixed with hot rice and those tiny potatoes.Oh my mouth waters and i am just taken back to that night,in the dhaba and eating that delicious food.

I was talking to my chamak challo’s today and was telling them how it feels to go back to that grandmothers land. My bamma(fathers mother),has this thing for tomatoes,anything she makes has to have tomatoes in it…cabbage with tomato, potato with tomato,cauliflower with tomato,tomato with tomato.My mother does not like it a bit,she says “tomato is tomato,why mix it with other veggies and loose it’s great flavor”?.however my father got that or rather inherited that flavor and guess what happens at home :).Now,if you excuse me,i have to make fenu greek and tomato:P.

It is crazy how even our kitchen sometimes resembles our grand mothers or mothers.think of it,don’t you wash your milk packet before you cut open the cover? does not your salt always stay in tupper ware and has a small steel spoon in it? don’t you always make dal with the tadka like your mom did? i do almost everything like her…amma you are virtually ruling my kitchen 😀

Then again there is the famous podi’s or powders that are made in the kitchen.yesterday I made curry leaf podi and I so wanted it to smell and taste like amma’s.the whole experience took me back to my childhood and i had to immediately mix it with hot rice,ghee and eat it…slurp….

I so wish my elder one takes up cooking.he loves it and I am waiting to see that gleam in his eyes and that joy he gets when he licks the hell out of that tomato curry!

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legacy

I was reading a book today and the thought that came to my mind “would this be well-preserved for my grandchildren?” I am 32 and grand kids are somewhere far.in fact my younger one is only 18 months and the elder 8.So,that thought was quite far stretched.However,i want my books,my little writings,to be there forever.imagine someone picks up the book after 50 years and goes “wow,my old woman sure had taste of i got that reading skills definitely from her.”

My grandparents left legacies that are unique in their own way..i don’t remember having a proper conversation with my dad’s father.however,my amma’s father left behind a huge legacy.he taught us how to be good to others and also how to be brute when required.he never owned anyone anything and if he did,he did not sleep till he returned that thing or favor.

but,the fascinating women are my grandmothers,my bamma(dad’s mom) is a very polished lady.she was born in a very poor family.however,had big dreams and she waited patiently for them to come true and they did.she groomed her sons to become what they want and not what she wanted them to be.but,the poverty is far behind her now and she lives like a queen.she is the best person for P.R anywhere.where ever she goes she carries a black book with the numbers of friends in that area.she is 83 today and she has more than 60 friends who are there to wish her.she loves attention and is not shy of it.she makes sure that she is well taken care of and the legacy that she would leave is ,no matter what your status in the world is,live like you are a born queen and live it up til the end.

my ammaamma(mom’s mom) is a women who has been protected from birth till now.she lived under her grandmothers eye for most of her teens and then got married.my grandpa got everything for her.right from the flowers in her hair to the chappal for her feet.she misses him so much,he made sure there was no dearth of anything around her.he also made her cripple that way and she never got to do anything for herself.she is also 83.but,zero friends and seven kids later she is living a silent life and i really don’t know what she thinks sitting in that rocking chair,she answers to my questions in one word and stared at the wall.maybe she sees her past there and maybe that past was wonderful than her present.but what i learnt from her is that you need to be independent and you need to love life and not live it regretting the past.

as for my grand kids,i will write a letter to them tomorrow or soon and tell them what i was like.i want them to be proud of me and i want to leave a legacy behind…one that speaks for itself and the one which is filled with adventure,love,lust,life,hate,sorrow and much more.something that comes natural to me is writing and i will write for the future generation and wait for them to open that chest filled with another world!

Over Reaction?

have you ever been slapped by a man? i am hope not and if you have been,then go to him,look into his eyes and give one tight slap and walk off.

my maid and i were chatting up the other day.she is getting married and they had this family session to discuss the pro’s and con’s of the wedding.her in law to be, does not want her as a DIL and the rest of the gang were bad mouthing her.So,the dear to be husband of hers,gives her one tight slap out of the blue and asks her to go to the other room,there was pin drop silence then.

so i asked her “WTF,who and why did he do that?”,she said “that was the only way to get the rest them to listen to him”!!!!!!!!! now,she is gone to get married and will be married in about few weeks.I am really worried about her.She says her to be MIL,held her hair and threw her out on the street at 2 am in the morning one day.But,she says “aka,let me get married and i will show my true colors?”.

my thoughts,”can she?”

she has my number and I told her to call me at time.But,will she? am I overrating the whole thing?”

LIVE IT UP!

It does not take much to smile.Sometimes at you and sometimes at the other person and sometimes at the situation.i have been doing that the whole of 2010.I moved to a new place,got to meet few wonderful women and life is good at home and work.

I decided last year to let go and let live.how? well, a friend told me this “d,i always admire your never say die attitude and your positive approach towards life.” that is where the thought came “am i really like that?” and the journey of inner healing,cleaning began.there are days when i feel the whole universe is just there to do wrong and there are days when i feel”really,do we need the universe,people,plants and things around us,like even a sock can hear me yelling at it,for the way it looks”.

but then,there is a way,i am not letting these effect me.life is just once,i mean in this life you get to live once. seriously,what is the point of me yelling at someone,having a fight,holding a grudge?it would effect me,stress me out and just waste a whole day or so.i do vent and then i move forward.

i met a bunch of few women in this year and bless them and their souls.they have come close to the soul sisters i never had and each one teaches me something new everyday.one teaches me on how to be a great mom,one on how to crack the most awesome and notorious jokes,one on how to look beautiful inside out and one who is a fighter and never gives up on life.(more about them in the next post)

so my gyan,lesson for the year.LIVE IT UP AND LET GO!

Enough Already

You live in a house,call it home and settle down.You decorate it,fill it with love,hope and joy.It is a place that is for you and your family and friends.But,what will you do when someone walks in,breaks your home and says “this is not your home,it is mine”.I will probably kill that person or break their bones one by one at a time.

This is what is happening to Andhra Pradesh,my state,our state.Home to millions of Teluguiets,Malyalees,Tamilians,Gujratis,Bengalis and many more.It has been more than 2 years and the unrest in the state is not coming down.

Schools have been effected,education is become a mere passe.Students do not know when they have to go to institutes.Even if they go,they are not sure if it is safe.They are not sure if they are from telangana or andhra or from a state that has been united for so long.

Workers are been forced to stay away from work.If they go against the agitators and work,they are called cheaters,anti telangana,anti andhra.My mother was verbally abused for going to work by them.What they did not know was, she is from Nalgonda,the main telangana region and she has to go to work to survive.A person who was throwing/pelting stones at the ladies who were walking out of the office or being forced to said this to my mother “are you not ashamed to work? why are not part of the agitation?” and my mother said “will you pay for my house,food and clothing and what is this anti thing? who are you to tell me what to do and where to live?”

I think her point is valid.A cousin of mine came home the other day and said “i hate the andhra students in my class,they are so down”.I was so surprised.While I was in college there was no such divide.It was either R.T.C colony or sainikpuri or vanastalipuram divide! It was never about our state.

I am a common woman,who wants things to be restored in A.P.There might be truth in what you are fighting for or there might not be any truth at all.But,who are you to make the common man suffer?Will you give the students their lost valid hours at school back?Do you know how important education is?what is the point of pointing fingers towards another country and calling them enemy.When you are pointing fingers at your own people and making them your sworn enemy “making them” I said.

I am pissed off,angry and hurt that this is happening in a state that was called one of the best states to live in a decade ago.It is the I.T hub and has the prestigious I.B.S or the BITS.Now,it is even scary to think of going there.My cousin has been planning to celebrate her daughters first birthday at Hyderabad this month.She has pre poned her trip and is having a small gathering at home rather than the earlier plan of going to an ashram.Thanks agitators for making us feel this way.

and if someone asks or tells me,this is what we have to do,we have to sacrifice enough to get something for our brothers and sisters.Please don’t sacrifice already.Potti Sriramulu did that once and that is how we have a state that we call “ANDHRA PRADESH”.

Don’t KILL yourself

Second page of TOI bangalore “IIM – B girl commits suicide” this is after her boyfriend dumped her and changed updated his status message to “feeling super cool today,dumped my new ex-girl friend.happy independence day”.

A website said that estimated 100000 commit suicide in India every year and it contributes to 10% among the world numbers.It is a sad and terrible way to end life,killing oneself.I was talking to S on the phone and she was saying that when most of us hear something like that we say “what a dumb girl” or “who gave her the right to kill herself” and so on.I think it is valid,Agree most of us say this and think “why did that girl end her life this way?”.

I was disturbed by the news,because it was an end to a beautiful life.Is there a way of prevention? Yes there are a number of websites and help lines available today.They have counseling sessions not only for the person who wants to.But,also for the parents,family and friends around.They help you deal with it and not make you adjust with life.Rather they make you accept life with a new look and a positive go ahead.

Many of the young ones today or even the older generation are facing pressure in ever aspect of life.
>good marks
>great job
>money
>fame
>study pressure
>love failure
>parents pressure
>spouse pressure
>failure in life

The above are few such points that i think where people end up killing themselves.These things can be resolved with proper understanding and care.If you know someone like this and cannot help then in your own way.Look for professional help and take them there.Trust me you will thank yourself for making and taking this decision.

My mother always says that no child is born dumb or smart or intelligent.She says that all of us are born with the same brain that helps us survive in this world.So,it is up to the parents and the society to nurture that brain and turn in into a “beautiful mind”.If you heart is broken it too can be mended,it may not be the same ever.But,with proper guidance it will turn that hurt into a lesson learnt for good!

My silent prayer for

Malini Murmu
23 years

Not my Problem

What is it with “it is a problem between husband a wife and we are not supposed to interfere”

The newspapers here have been reporting the tiff between and film star and his wife and a ban on the actress who supposedly caused the whole rift.So the Industry promptly bans the actress and then goes to the star and empathizes with him.Let me tell you that the star in question was someone who beat his wife,tore her clothes and threatened her at gun point.He also tried to throw his nine month old from a bridge or a building once and here we have people forgetting this and saying “it is a personal issue,so let them solve it”.Really?.The wife who is the victim went to withdraw the FIR and told the cops that she slipped and fell in the bathroom.Now,tell me if these are the stories in Film land,then there is no point of writers and drama.All you have to do is go to some house,sit with popcorn and enjoy the show and then if the star kills the wife in real life,say”it is their personal problem you see”.

Let me tell you it is not easy to get out of a physical relationship that easily and if you do get out,it takes ages to recover mentally.But,the point is get out.Many times the lawyer tells the husband and wife to compromise and get back to normal.So,it is ok that after 6 months of normalcy the person gets targeted and beaten again? and then come the elders of the family and also the ones who think they are doing their best in keeping the scarcity of marriage alive and making themselves the self made gyan gurus.

Is it ok for a man or a women to go through torture in a marriage? Isn’t the word marriage supposed to be a harmony between two people and not something that otherwise.How many have us heard stories about friends mothers beating beaten and fathers being taken to court for no fault of theirs?Yes,my point here is why does not one come to rescue in a domestic abuse problem? Why does everyone say that it is between wife and husband?What would happen to you when the same abuse starts at your house?

I saw a tamil move recently called Eeram.The husband kills the wife and then she comes back to take revenge.Now,she kills this lady,her neighbor.You know why? when she was alive the husband was doubting thomas and comes to this neighbor to check if his wife was sleeping with anyone or was any man coming to visit his wife.The lady in questions says yes and says that there is a man who comes to visit your wife everyday.Now,the husband goes back and promptly kills the wife.Tell me this, even if it was a man coming to visit her,could that man not be a father,brother or a friend and what business does this lady have to tell him in a very “i am pure,your wife is not”way about some harry? In fact she should tell him to stop doubting his wife or he would have to live life without balls.

Please pray the the future generation has the guts and the sense to get out of abusive relationship and the ones who are living in it should not call themselves victims.But,get out and call the psycho who was abusing them a victim of low self esteem!Please,if your a victim,ask for help from anyone and trust yourself to believe that you are the best and no one is superior to you.